New Awareness

This post in the new year. Which one I'm not sure. Now that Christmas is over, I thought I would spend some time updateing my blog. I wondered if anyone really reads this stuff which kind of gives me a freeedom to express things I don't otherwise let out. It has taken me years to be able to put my thoughts on paper. Technology has a lot to do with that. My brain and keyboard can get into sync and that makes it even more fun. Then there is what to write. How do I decide in this vast emptiness I call my brain, what is good to share and what to keep to myself. How exactly do I say this in an appropriate way that others would not only understand but would want to come back and read more. I think I have to check in with both. The heart is important but things that need doing need a brain to think the process to the end. I have decided it is a marriage of brain and heart that brings this to the world wide web. After all the heart is the expression of life, right? Our heart is how we feel and the brain tries to make sense of it. at least my brain does. I am a feeeling being. My husband is a thinking kind of being. So his brain is always trying to figure out what my heart is saying. Hmmm, no struggle there! LOL! That isn't to say that he doesn't feel, although he has been accused of that. It's just that the brain makes things so understandable. The heart just feels everything, even if it doesn't make sense. Our communication is not what it could be. I try so hard to think and understand what he is saying. When I try to talk to him I have to tell a story, explain things, illustrate that dam point to death! By the time I am done and I say,"do you get it?" He is snoring or off doing his man thing in the garage somewhere. I have been known to be angry about this a time or two,(or three). He on the other hand thinks it in his head and that is that. "What do you mean of course I told you", and around and around it goes. Communication between married folds can suck. The truth is I like men. I mean, I would rather sit in a room full of men and talk politics, than try to talk to any woman about anything. I enjoy their logic and their candor. I like the way they smell, at least the ones that shower. What I don't care for is their boyish humor. Bodily functions are not funny. So why is it so hard when you are married? I don't have any wisdom for this. None that I would dare offer. Would I do it again, I would have to say if I could know the great people that are my kids without being married, I would not get married again. But someone, somewhere decided that we need each other, if only for the one purpose of bringing life into this world. So to the brain that isn't too aware of my heart I say, may life improve, that as we go along you will learn the language of emotion, and I will learn the logical way that you are, even if you don't say a word. R :-)